School opening on Mon. Well the timetable was great, love it ..fri without class - continues 3 days -to do my assignments each week ; that's really cool !
Kept telling myself " i got to really work this semester"but worries push me down ; just feel so uneasy. Everything will begin on MONDAY ..everything starts projects and projects and those are all my EXAMS. Got to really put in effort in every single one of it. Or else it will end up like 1st semester again ) Just wonder am i creative or just a copy and paste person. I don't know I don't know ; the more i think about it ; the more i push myself down ..
Other's believe that design shdn't be stressful cos is not praical, is not ! Having the creativity and having others to accept ur creativity is so hard , got to be successful ; that's even more worrying.
What is in mond this few days was all about my studies ..so nerddy !
Well ...WORRIES ARE KILLING ME !

Confusion posted at 2:02 AM.

Was having fun taking neoprints with them today , it had been so long that we gathered together and took neoprints . We didn't really meet up and shop around, talking crape after the teacher's day gathering in sec sch. Didn't have the time to meet , everyone was busy. Do miss this few crappy friends of 4 PEACE ! Well gonna start sch again and really gonna miss them again ..the three cutties - wei qi , ivy and si hui ; though didn't know qui yi well, she is nice too.
Shifting house soon , gonna be closer to sch but further away from friends , that's so sad ; just don't feel like shifting but no choice. This pro is just out of my control. Opening all those boxes that I packed in Thomson View , my very 1st hse in singapore ; so many memories of primary school and sec 1 , looking at all my cute little toys ; just feel like ..is just so fast ; i'm 18 now ; I want all my toys to be with me but dad says " No " . Well can't argue with that . The new home that i'm going to have is smaller and will not have that much space to put all my " rubbish with me ; well miss them all , just got to give them children who ar in need of them for happiness . ;(
As my mum said ; can you don't be so" kiddish " !
Childhood Memories ! What can i do ! ;)

Confusion posted at 3:46 AM.

Just came back from cellgroup ; and had a chat with Danielle on msn before dad wants to use the computer ; started to introduce my boggy and chat about the semester that is comming . I told her about what the director had said to me ; having the potential in merchandising ; and she said " Isn't that good ?" ..hmm i've give the answer that it might be ; this question really ponders me; there are really many points of view in this. I got to really settle down and think about it . What is in mind now ; is work my every best in every subject before the choosing of my major ; merchandising or designning .
In the cellgroup today; Uncle Filip , there is some problems that he could not solve and it was quite urgent ; I did not really undestand it well ; do understand that a loss in money( a really bad one ) in his business . I will pray for him and god will help him. The topic today was going through sufferings ; i believe that everyone does have it ; so do i !
Evan told me that life would be meaningless without worries ; is the beauty of life ; it does together with god .

Confusion posted at 9:19 AM.

Another day, is 12 pm now and I just woke -up for lunch . That's really late but somehow i did manage to sleep from 1am till 11 pm. What a pig's life !
School is starting on the 5th Dec and time tabe will be released on the 2nd Dec. Can't wait for it to be released , can't wait for sch reopen. Shelia was wondering ; why do i look forward on getting my timetable ; I really need it cos i got to set my goals on my comming projects and overall performance and in this semester itself , most of the subjects are all under Ad , is a great opportunity to do well and show to the direstor that i love designning and can do well in it , compare to merchandising. I got to really plan and have constent effort in every projects especially individual that's the best to score !
Facing peers ..hmm...sometimes i just find that i can't tell them my throughs or it may sound too show off or to become a competitor " Wah ..Vivian u ar so hardworking " ...argh ..i don't like that. I do understand that the fashion industry inself is a challenging one and everyone wants to climb on to the top.
Let's just work on my own and be my own competitor , use my creativity and ideas to present the best work that i can. I 've didn't do my best in the 1st semester. Many Last min work and not putting effort in my work , rushing it and just want to pass it up on time.Quality and timming count together.
Got to really work this semester; Let's forget "something " and let it go naturally .

Confusion posted at 8:01 PM.

My illustration.
A bit creppy ..haha
Just a drawing , so bored .. !

Confusion posted at 7:19 PM.

There are so many things in mind. My future goals : To be a Fashion Designer, Flight Stewardness, Fashion Model, Actress - Well all these are my dreams since young. Since Pri 4 ,
that was quite long ago , people says that children don't usually stick to their dreams , but well i do. Maybe i'm just a typical ambitous or to say stubborn gal.
Trying to fulfill one of my dreams now ; studying apparel design and merchandising in tp. BUT in the very last portfolio section ( after the 1st semester ) the director told me that i should og for merchandising instead cos she sees my potential in that. May my social skills are showing that. I don't think , I am good at business stuff like merchandising. I am more to the arts. I got to really show her that Iam a designer not a merchandiser !
On the other hand ; being a designer is not easy ..drawing a great figure needs lots of visualisation, imagination & skills ..Argh so troublesome ..will i be able to make it ..the proportion of the figure.. in order to visualise the beauty of the garment; there are alot of things to learn in a basic garments too ; the sleeves, the collars, the pockets . I wish i could remember all of them, from the elements, it goes to the fabric type ..got to know the diff types of fabrics , from the fabric and elements, it goes to the colour together with the style. Every garment produced is a masterpiece and is from heart , ana expression. I 'm really afraid that i can't cope with all that !
I seems to be discourage by the difficulty in drawing the proportion of the legs and hands ...the very 1st step is turnning me down so how abt the garments . Dear lord , please push me on.
A dream that matches this closely is a fashion model, blessed with 1.75m , should be able to express my own designed garment , the emotions it brings out ....that is really far away ..i got to work for my designer level , before this dream could come true ! I really wish to ..a dream that is not impossible to fufill.
Dreamy Dreamy me ...got to really learn to look at the present and the future at the same time !

Confusion posted at 10:32 AM.

Troubled with so many things in life
Problems that i can't solve

Confusion posted at 1:05 AM.

Dancing on the floor...trying to forget everything and enjoy the music.
Let's dance !!!! Holidays going to end soon and not forgetting christmas is comming !
Well...another semester.. got to work really hard.
My 1st semester's results sucks !

Confusion posted at 4:15 AM.